Misguided Interest

It breaks my heart to wake up to the latest celebrity mindless behavior, (no pun intended) but the fight between C and D was pretty stupid. Worst than them acting a damn fool is the media attention. It's sad enough that society would rather reward the talented; investing the poor man's dollars to promote their wealth, instead of furloughing our educators, police and firemen. Today I have to agree with Russell's Global Grind blog our conversation needs to be about the 53 shot over one weekend in Chicago or not letting the memory of Trayvon Martin be forgotten. Let the wealthy be stupid and foolish and they can fight til the white meat shows, but don't feed the hype by keeping it buzzing through the airwaves. Nothing changes without a cause, why not make our neighborhoods our business and listen to our children instead of radio gossip. If we turn around our misguided interest by tuning out the madness, we just might win the best fight of our life.

Not your soulmate

I said once before that most people are married to someone else's soulmate and after laughing through a conversation I still firmly believe this to be true. I know a lot of married couples, but I only know a few happily, passionately still wake up in love with their spouse couples. The rest fall somewhere between comfortably miserable and fearfully comfortable. You know the ones that are unhappily staying because they don't want the other to possibly find happiness and the ones afraid to go because they might not find anyone else. They'd rather be lonely in their marriage than alone...either way they are holding someone else's soulmate hostage because they are to fearful of true love. It's been traded for the children who by the way recognize your misery and silently pray that one of you will just walk away or sold out to the house and cars; you know the line..."his paycheck comes home." Did you really just waste your only life on someone you barely like; instead of living to be loved?

Separation Anxiety

My daughter is entering her senior year and this week she is doing a college preview, away to college camp she goes...so why is Mommy dearest, yes me thinking in fast forward about this is how life is going to be. I should be planning a mani/pedi or that long overdue massage, but instead I am lecturing myself on getting a life. This year will be full of great fun, all of those wonderful senior activities; pictures and prom, homecoming and teens gone wild on that long awaited senior trip and all I can think is the phone will not ring as many times per day because soon she will not have mandatory check ins. I will be paying college fees somewhere for her to stay away creating an absence at home. How will I occupy my days??? Bingo or bridge, maybe salsa or step...I know a traveling club!!! Whatever I find to fill the hours will not compare to coming home to hear her say Mommy!!! I know she'll call when she needs money. Lol!!!!

A Giver's Heart

People with a special heart refuse to allow circumstances or bank balances restrict them from giving. The financially rich may do a monetary right off, the rich at heart give their time, ear and normally their last without special conditions or a belittle you lecture. I've been the recipient of just because and with all my love I've given back. Giving expects nothing in return and is elated with the happiness of others. God has done me plenty of favors by placing me in the company of heart givers. I remember just a month ago one of those givers said now let's count the blessings...God thank you for showing me such a divine lesson. It is a pure treasure to be a member of the givers at heart.

Sasha is evil!!!

Sasha has been beating my behind lately...I find myself relapsing in all the areas that allow her to triumph. Her victories don't just invade my body, but she has weaseled her way back into my mind. I feel her mostly in my legs when it is a struggle to walk and in my neck where she has this vice grip daring me to make another move. The gym has not been my friend and well my trainer has removed me from the books. Logically I know that if I start to whip her behind again that many of the mental struggles I am tormented with will evaporate as my happy hormones begin to release throughout my body. Please say a prayer for Sasha, because the word always defeats the devil and even at her cutest plumpness she is still the enemy. Just evil!!!

Braveheart

Courage is to face your fears. I've found an amazing respect for both men and women that do the work. The ones that don't walk away when the troubles mount; but instead those that stand firm, sinking there entire being into the cause. Through this journey I've learned that I was not stupid but brave. I was brave enough to love the good and the bad. That I didn't smother my hope. I was brave enough to voice my needs knowing that in order to succeed they had to come before the other's wants. Brave enough to allow time for the adjustments to be made. Brave enough to bare the pain as transparently as possible in order to not mask as I heal. I am brave enough to know the difference between getting over something and just past it; I choose the latter because I don't ever want to stop loving my past; it will allow me the braveheart to fall in love with my future.

Control

I'm having a Janet Jackson moment taking control and eliminating names on the way. I've said it before, but I'm screaming it now...my peace of mind is worth more than your opinion. It is painful to open your heart to someone through words for them to later use them against you to point out the flaws in your life. Trust me no one can beat me down more than me for my failures and if I've forgiven myself or more importantly looked in my own mirror, what do I need your reflection for? I'm now taking control and if you can't respect me then you will miss me.