Mouse trap

Motivation comes in spurts for me, but I can't seem to gain this continuous ball of energy needed to stay on a consistent roll. I'm guilty of overthinking everything; that's an entirely different topic, but my mind is in this constant race and I can never seem to slow it down. It's as if I'm desperately seeking an absolute answer to what drives me and then I must figure out each intricate step to make it work, and then I must rethink the thought to make sure the steps are in order to complete the process and then and then and then...it seems like I'm stuck right back at my original quest of figuring out what motivates me. I wonder how can you tell if you are depressed to the point of requesting help, because I feel like I'm stuck in a mouse trap with all the answers but no clue as to how to exit this cycle. I find myself sitting in traffic crying, a fraud because I can't apply my own written words to my life. I just would like to have enough motivation to stay happy. Not in what I'm doing, but in who I am.