Brick by Brick

I wrote a goodbye letter awhile ago and it was thanking the person for all the reasons they came into my life. I forgot how therapeutic the process; helping move the emotion of pain into the energy of thanksgiving. In my case this person was sent to teach me forgiveness and anger management. They themselves did not counsel on the lessons, but instead took me so far and deep inside the opposite of those emotions that I had no choice but surrender to the lessons or hurt someone. That is when I understood that they didn't take me anywhere. I had so little control over my mind that any amount of provocation would send me from zero to 60 with no warning and once there I did not know where forgiveness should come from; instead allowing the anger to physically eat me inside out. The destruction left me violently ill from my head to my ankles. Pleading why to God wondering what I did to deserve this type of hurt, never once taking responsibility for self inflicting the pain. Have you even wondered why God let it happen to you? Had it ever crossed your mind that he didn't? You did it and he didn't violate your will, but was right by your side after you tore your life apart, willing to help you separate the bricks from the rocks so that you could rebuild a solid foundation. The first brick I picked up was marked forgiveness and it was the heaviest, but once in place thanksgiving, love and peace fit perfectly helping restore or in my case retrain my mind; making gratitude my new attitude to appreciate all of the good and bad that enters my life.