Half

Today marks six months to the day that I started this blog. Half a year, in that time a lot of my writings have centered around my pain. Some of my entries have gotten a high five, others a good job and a few laughs and then some have missed the mark completely if my goal were just to captivate readers, but since this platform is my vessel for healing; I selfishly admit that I write for me as a way to manage what at times seems like unbearable pain. I share it with the world because I need a cyber hug and all of you are at different times my counsel, my support group, my cheerleader but always my friend. It becomes a blessing if someone else benefits from my transparency.

Today, I'm taking an even braver step or at least my goal is to try. I'm learning that I've spent so much time looking back that I can't outrun the pain. I don't keep a solid focus on looking forward allowing the grievances of the past to engulf me like a morning fog. I will not speak for all, but many are in need of closure from situations in order for the healing to begin. I have been walking around with an open wound letting the infestation rot, making me sick inside and out. The hardest thing to do is stitch yourself up and accept when something has died leaving you with no grave site to visit. It's like a person that goes missing because some selfish act took them away and you could not get a solid grip on how to act. All you know for certain is life must go on.

On this Independence Day I declare a new freedom that starts with setting fireworks under my own feet, keeping them moving in one direction no matter how many turns or detours as long as the other half of this year doesn't catch me still looking back at the first half.