I wrote this a long time ago, it should be in poem stanza so excuse lack of punctuation.
Today I thought about Dying just as I did yesterday and the day before yesterday I thought about the hell I barely survive one second to the next apologizing to Our Father Who Art in Heaven since I can’t perish and repent all in the same last breath. Today I thought about death this far off peaceful place with days full of rest. Today I wondered what people would miss my smile or style for sure not my emergency fires poor choices, incompetent decisions or merry-go-round failures at this thing called Life would they miss the titles I hold Wife, Daughter, Sister or Friend did I even do well in any of those roles not well enough because even dying has to be less exhausting than living up to their great expectations Today my thoughts of death were so strong that I penned you one last love song I apologize because you must think me selfish indeed I took care to provide clarity for what I only imagine will be a haze of mental stammers all ending in WHY Must you know why if you already know What Today What quickly sums up to my inability to handle living this life anymore no worries I took my troubles with me as to not forever burden your door more importantly not to tarnish my soul, see she views me as perfect and I don’t want to lose that unconditional love.
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