I posted today that I was feeling some kind of way and that I wanted my head buried under my pillow. It had nothing to do with a broken heart, that is mending quite nicely. I will not deny some days of sadness, but I think I have made it past the can't sleep, losing my hair and emotional eating moments. However, I am only human so forgive any relapse as we approach the first anniversary that is not. It is almost like death when you get to those significant dates and you have to make it past them. Well it is the same for me, I have to give the dates a new meaning or maybe no meaning at all. Lucky for me the love my Granddaddy gave me was so over the top that I will not allow the memory of his birthday to be tarnished by sitting in a pool of unnecessary misery.
My feelings today were more on the numb side, not really negative but more neutral while still giving myself the you can do it big girl pantie pep talk. I realize that being pessimistic sucks the life out of you, but being optimistic sometimes is just not realistic, so today I was feeling some kind of way because I didn't really want to have to talk myself out of being one so that I could be the other. If I put my head under the pillow I could just disappear and be nothing.
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