I had an ah-ha moment just now. I've been driving in the same direction for so long that I didn't realize how attached I'd become to the rear view mirror. The road isn't getting any shorter because I keep looking back, maybe silently praying for you to catch up but just as clear as the road ahead looks no different than the road behind, I now know you will never change. It's always been up to me. I have to turn the corner to change the view.
Tina Turner couldn't have said it better when she sang this question, "What's LOVE got to do with it?" See Love does not hurt. Love is the one action that makes it all better and while you may be busy doing your part; loving someone to your death, love doesn't change people. People change people or let me more specific you have to change you, just as I've been changing me over this year. I just forgot to get on a new road. I've changed the music from sad love songs, to club banging hip hop and I've changed the car a couple times, I've changed the tires and tried new snacks at different gas stations but forgot to GPS a new direction. For me it took a friend asking, how was your holiday and me responding that I spent almost five hours talking to my Mommy in the wee hours of the morning over what started as me not wanting this part time job and having the Black Friday Blues; to being able to be so CLEAR that I told it ALL and finally releasing the burden of what I've been holding in and on to gave me the freedom to turn the corner. I can't look back, I have a new view!!!
"Sometimes you have to forget how you feel and remember what you deserve." EL
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