Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Couch Talk
A conversation with a friend that I've labeled my therapist lead me to understand what I would like to be when I grow up. It also made me melancholy and frustrated that our culture of men have been taught at large to drown in their own emotions. Leading to either shutting down or getting fired up. Why does it have to be a sign of weakness for men to have couch talk; who are they allowed to be completely transparent with? Not their guy friends who may think it's a joke, not their girlfriends who will think they are too soft. Daddy says boy toughen up, mommy says boy you better not be acting like no girl. We tell our boys to take it like a man, while we run to rescue our girls. Who saves our men? Who do they turn to for a hug?
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I am sooo with you on this!! It starts when they are young. I think you have to have a balance of discipline AND love! You can't spoil them to the point that they grow up with a sense of entitlement and disrespect, thinking the world owes them something and they can do no wrong... but you also cannot be so tough on them that they become adults who have an inability to express their emotions properly, which often leads to dysfunction!
ReplyDeleteI have a sure challenge ahead of me in raising two boys! The first instinct for many people that see a toddler boy crying is to tell him to "toughen up" -- especially if he's crying over hurt feelings rather than a physical injury. But my challenge is to find a way to allow them to express their emotions (even hurt feelings) in a healthy, constructive way rather than holding everything in. I don't think it's right the way our society forces men to wear a mask.